


Forest Green Eyes

by Queenzie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Depressing, F/M, First Kiss, Jealousy, Loneliness, No Spoilers, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 21:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15374154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenzie/pseuds/Queenzie
Summary: Mikasa thinks that her and Bertholdt are similar.





	Forest Green Eyes

She knew she’d seen them before.

 

Those forest green eyes.

 

She just couldn’t remember where.

 

* * *

 

As the trainee’s were sparring, Mikasa noticed that her opponents attention was elsewhere. Usually Bertholdt was a good opponent for her, not too easy to beat but also not too hard.

Curiously, she looked over to where his gaze was directed; Annie and Eren. The two of them were not just sparring, but it looked like they were _flirting_.

Mikasa easily took the wooden knife from Bertholdt and swiftly knocked him on his butt, then turned on her heels to approach the other two.

“Why don’t you teach me those moves?” Mikasa questioned the blonde, glaring daggers at her.

Annie pushed her sleeves up, returning the glare. “I don’t think it works on animals.”

Bertholdt got onto his feet and quickly rushed over, joining the crowd that was building up. Everyone was betting on who would win.

Just for a moment, him and Mikasa locked eyes.

 

* * *

 

One night, Eren had invited Annie over to eat at his table.

Bertholdt hadn’t gotten any food and went outside, unaware that anyone had noticed. Mikasa went outside after giving Eren her meal and searched for the boy.

“Can I join you?”

Bertholdt jumped, startled by the sudden presence. He just meekly nodded.

Mikasa sat down next to him and gazed out at the lake in front of them. The moon’s reflection was dancing on the water. It was a clear, starry night and the fireflies were out. The only sound that could be heard were crickets chirping.  

“W-why did you come out here?” Bertholdt stumbled over his own words, confused as to why _Mikasa Ackerman_ would come out here to join him.

“I noticed something.” Mikasa simply answered, hugging her knees to her chest.

Bertholdt turned his head to look at her. “What?”

“We are similar.” Mikasa replied.

Bertholdt raised an eyebrow at her answer. “How?”

“We both have romantic interests that will never look at _us_ that way.” Mikasa answered. She had easily noticed his constant gazing at Annie and it wasn’t hard to tell that he had feelings for the girl.

Bertholdt’s face had easily turned red at that. _Was it really that noticeable?_ he wondered.

Mikasa closed her eyes and let out a sigh. “I’m going to go to bed.”

“Oh, okay.” Bertholdt replied.

Mikasa turned her head to briefly meet his gaze, then stood up from her spot. “Goodnight, Bertholdt.”

“Goodnight… Mikasa.” Bertholdt replied, watching her as she disappeared into the women's barracks.

 

* * *

 

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Mikasa has asked that question as Bertholdt lie on a bed in the infirmary, suffering from a cold.

“No.” Bertholdt answered.

“Me either.” Mikasa replied, replacing the cold wash rag on his forehead. “Want to try it?”

A blush spread incredibly across Bertholdt’s cheeks.

The truth was, Mikasa had accidentally saw Eren and Annie sneaking a kiss earlier that day. It was early in the morning and the two had met at the women’s barracks. Mikasa felt jealous and also curious as to how it felt.

“R-right now?” Bertholdt stuttered, “I’ve never kissed anyone, a-and I’m contagious. I don’t want to weird you out or get you sick...”

“I don’t mind.” Mikasa assured him.

She had always dreamed of kissing Eren, and she was sure Bertholdt had always dreamt of kissing Annie. But that would never happen.

“Are you sure?” Bertholdt asked, his face getting redder by the second. He never thought a girl would want to kiss him.

“Yes.” Mikasa answered, sitting where there was open space on his bed. Her hands lay in her lap.

Bertholdt nervously sat up and watched as she closed her eyes, patiently waiting for him to lean in. He took a deep breath and used his hand to cup her cheek, then let his eyes fall shut as he leaned in.

Their lips met briefly in a slow and confused kiss. Neither of them knew how to do this.

Mikasa wasn’t satisfied and when he pulled away, she placed her hands on his shoulders and pulled him back for another one. Her cold but soft lips and his warm but chapped ones moved in sync for awhile until they both got the hang of it.

“Sorry.” Mikasa apologized, “I got carried away.”

“You’re fine.” Bertholdt assured, a blush still evident on his cheeks.

Mikasa breathed out a sigh. “You should get some rest.”

Bertholdt just nodded and obeyed, lying back down on his bed.

Their eyes met for a short moment before Mikasa got up and left.

 

* * *

 

Bertholdt was a hypocrite.

He had gotten onto Reiner for forming close relationships with his comrades, and here he was, doing something even worse.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Especially with _her_.

Mikasa rested her head against his shoulder, which she just barely reached, and he set his head atop hers. They gazed out at the lake like the first night.

“Thank you for being there for me.” Mikasa spoke up.

“Of course.” Bertholdt replied. Then he told a lie. “I always will be.”

His words were genuine, they really were, he just couldn’t keep them like he wished he could.

_Why did he have to get close to the enemy?_

“Can I hold your hand?” Mikasa questioned.

“Yes.” Bertholdt simply answered, a small blush forming on his cheeks at the suggestion.

Mikasa moved her hand over and intertwined their fingers, looking at them as she did so. His tanned skin was much different than her paleness, as well as the texture. His hands were much more rough than hers.

“Sorry I’m needy.” Mikasa said and let out a sigh.

“It’s okay,” Bertholdt assured, “I understand.”

Mikasa smiled at that. “You do.”

She tilted her head up to meet his gaze for a moment.

He made her feel like she wasn’t alone.

 

* * *

 

“I’m sorry about Annie.”

Mikasa has came to check up on Bertholdt a few days after the battle with the Female Titan.

After noticing the tears in his eyes, she pulled him into an embrace. “It’s okay…” she assured him, stroking his hair.

However he wasn’t crying because of Annie. He was crying because he knew someday soon he would have to tell everyone the truth. Tell _her_ the truth.

He didn’t want his friends to hate him. He wanted them to understand, but he knew that was impossible.

Mikasa closed her eyes when he buried his head in the crook of her neck and she felt him grip the back of her jacket tighter.

What he’s done was unforgivable.

He doesn’t deserve this.

 

* * *

 

Now she remembers where she saw those eyes. 

It was five years ago, when their home and families were brutally taken away from them.

Mikasa glared down at Bertholdt who had tears in his eyes, her sword hovering over his head after slicing his neck. He held the wound with both hands, blood gushing out and seeping through the spaces between his fingers. 

She was hesitating to kill him.

Reiner had quickly took action and pushed Mikasa off from him.

After pulling herself back onto the wall using her maneuver gear, she met Bertholdt’s tear filled gaze one last time before he transformed into the well-known Colossal Titan.

 

Mikasa still couldn’t believe that those familiar forest green eyes belonged to a monster she let herself get close to.


End file.
